"Rose colored glasses"

Hi everyone,

I turned 53 last September. That is more than half a century. If I say I don't know where the time went, you probably would laugh especially if you are substantially younger than I am.

It is easier to look back at my life if I divide it into five decades:

1) I have very fond memories of my childhood. I was the favorite of my parents forthe first six years of my life until my baby brother came along. I got away with still a lot being a runner up.

Those were innocent times. It was pretty safe and okay for girls to go outside and play, so my sister and cousins would play "Pithu garam" with our boy cousins and would ride bikes.

Our most favorite vacation was to go to our village for the Eid holidays, where we would be spoiled like anything.

2) Then came my teenage years. Early teens were not much different from childhood, but around the age of fourteen my mother embarked her panic years. There were two sets of rules, one for boys and one for girls. The boundaries were set and the demarcation lines must have been cemented in my mind because I "tried" to draw them in my own home. I remember I hated being a girl, especially at times when my Ammi would say, "fix your dupatta", "pull your shirt down" or "don't laugh too loud".

In 1972 I joined a college and of all the colleges, Kinnaird College. My Ammi was a very hands on mother. She would drop me and my sister off at college every morning along with the driver and would be there half an hour early to pick us up in the afternoon. I remember once my mother's friend said to her, "tumhari betiyan Kinnaird sey nahi lagtin". I almost cried, but my mother took it as her mission was accomplished. Going to Liberty Market with my sister and my mom was a treat for me. A bottle of Coke or a vanilla cone was all it took to make my life exciting.

One thing that I remember from those years is that days started looking golden, I mean literally golden (or you can call them "sunehrey") to me. It could be a dark and dreary day but all I would see was a sunehri sunshine. Colors of flowers and butterflies became quite vivid. I am sure I was looking at the world with rose colored glasses as I never saw those colors again.

3) I got married "on top of the decade" at the exact age of 20. Since I was drafted

to America right away, harsh realities of life started to sink in pretty fast and my rose colored glasses came off or were maybe taken off. I had six children in a span of twelve years and my life became all about them. I turned into a "marde mujahid"and there was absolutely nothing that I would not do for my family. With lack of sleep and rest, my looks (whatever was left of them) started to deteriorate. I think during most of this decade I was brain dead.

4) My kids started growing up pretty fast. Pressure regarding their education started as well. My life was still all about them. I forgot what a full night sleep felt like. I was on a treadmill (speed 5, incline 4) for the whole decade. My kids were under my constant surveillance and I would watch them like a hawk.

5) I started to pay attention to myself although I still was overwhelmed with responsibilities. My father started coming every year regularly. The unconditional love I saw in his eyes did wonders for me. In a subtle way he taught me to look at life through his experienced and wise eyes and I started to wake up from my self induced coma. Maybe I am slow because my early forties is when I started to understand life and never took anything at face value again. My woman's intuition went out of control. I developed x-ray vision and now had an ability to see through people.

6) This is the current decade. Two of my children are married, and I am blessed with three gorgeous grandchildren and one granddaughter on the way. Whatever I learned in my forties, I am fully applying in my fifties. I stopped taking anything or anybody for granted and stopped being taken for granted as well. Can you believe I did not know even how to turn a computer on until 3 month ago, and now I am sitting here writing this freakin' blog.

Although, my own eyes are aging now, I have six sets of young and beautiful eyes with perfect vision (thanks to Lasik surgery) to look through and see this world again. I don't need the "rose colored glasses" anymore because through these twelve eyes somehow,

THE COLORS OF FLOWERS AND BUTTERFLIES HAVE BECOME QUITE VIVID AGAIN.

Much love,

Shehla