"Game Changers"

"Ain Ishq Mahi Wali Nehar Wagey

Kai Taryaan Karmaan Walarian

Ik Kojhian Vi Langh Paar Gayian

Khar Rondian Shaklaan Walarian 

Ik Sohnian Dey Mathey Bhag Nahi

Bahroun Laal Tey Androun Kalarian

Ghulam Farid Allah Karam Kerey

Aibaan Walarian Dey Mathey Lalariaan"

Hi everyone,

My admiration for and infatuation with people with a vision is something that's not in my control. I am amazed at how one can go out and solve problems of the world while I can't seem to figure out what goes on in my own head, let alone in my world!

Going through a full blown motherhood for almost 40 years (where I slept like an iguana with one eye open for the first 20) entitles me to be cynical about it but I won't! I believe children are genderless as far as their parents are concerned and that's the way it should be. You worry no less for a son than you do for a daughter, you pray no less for a daughter than you do for a son. To this day I do my best to find a switch in my brain that I can somehow turn off and stop worrying about my children, knowing very well that magical device is yet to be invented. 

 

However when daughters come in to our lives we are more protective, more concerned, more cautious, and always looking out to pick up thorns from the path they choose to walk on.You tell your daughters to be self assured, confident, kind, and compassionate. You tell them to fight life relentlessly, yet with dignity and grace, and always walk away from situations and relationships with their heads held high. The jury is still out on whether we have failed to emphasize that there is bound to be an institution on any path they take, an institution they require to enroll in, an institution that is already on shaky grounds; call it an institution of marriage if you please. 

Everything in life comes with a price but the price for freedom is at times too steep and pretty hard to afford. The very expensive gift called freedom that we give to our daughters is the gift no one else will. We have raised a generation of young ladies, or rather I should say, a generation of game changers who know what they want, when they want, and more so what they don't! Do not hold them in contempt if they haven't entered as yet the mental institution called a marriage. Look up to them as they are fighting life just as hard as our sons are. Give them a break, give them a pat on their backs, give them a du'a if you can, give them a standing ovation if you will, but do not give them an attitude as they will give it right back. 

I thought it was paramount for my daughters to have their father's hand on their heads, I thought it was crucial for my daughters to have their mother's shoulder to cry on. I stand corrected on both counts! More than the guidance and protection they need to have total faith in themselves and The One who created them. After all they are His creations, with innate vulnerabilities, with innate weaknesses and with innate strengths. 

He will take care of them, He will protect them, He will guide them, and He sure will provide for them. This is the promise He gave me when He gave me four daughters and this is the only promise I will hold Him to!

Although "mother knows best", there is someone up there who, with all His magnanimity, undoubtedly knows better!

Much love,

Shehla 

'Scene is On'

"Charhdey Suraj Dhaldey Waikhey

Bujjhey Deevey Baldey Waikhey 

Heerey Da Koi Mull Na Tarey

Khotey Sikkey Chaldey Waikhey"

Hi everyone,

I feel the need to get a pair of Kaleidoscopic glasses to see and appreciate the multi faceted forum that we call Facebook! I jumped on this band wagon five years ago; clearly there was no turning back and those five years of course should be counted in dog years!

It's a great way to communicate, and an even a greater way to accelerate one's narcissistic tendencies. It's a great way to be surrounded by hundreds while alone, and an even greater way to be alone while surrounded by hundreds: The choice is yours!

I have a very weird and somewhat cynical relationship with this nexus of a platform. Like any other relationship it gives you back what you invest in it or more so what you need to find in it and are so desperate for! It gives you really good friends you haven't met and probably never will, it gives you enemies that you perhaps wouldn't dare make in person, it lends you an opportunity to rub elbows with intellectuals you would otherwise never cross paths with. 

I acknowledge the power of social media before I admit the need of human contact. I acknowledge the power of the give and take of a social relationship before I dare enter one. I personally have fought battles on this platform which I needed to, settled some scores which I had to, mended a few much needed relationships that I wanted to, and sharpened my dull and rusty mind which I opted to. 

It has raised the bar quite high as far as the threshold of tolerance is concerned. You learn to dodge bullets, so to speak, you tolerate what you thought you never would, you write words that you never knew you knew, you inhale the compliments and learn to take criticism with a grain of salt.  

Although with me it started as a simple tool to stay in touch with my family back home, I discovered that the world of Facebook is much deeper than I thought it was. You learn to swim with the sharks, you learn to stay afloat, you learn to create illusions, you learn to pull a Houdini, and you most definitely find finds while looking to be found. 

However there are  quite a few catches to this forum as well. It exposes you to the chosen few in way too many ways, it exposes your disabilities as well as your abilities, it exposes your self-inflated IQ in a couple of interactions, it favors you by exposing you to your own self. What this forum has most of all though is the ability to brutally put you in your place and humble you down. 

Now it's a staple and fun activity of my daily routine. I would hate to admit it but at times I remind myself of a phenomenal busybody from any given neighborhood, on any given day, who gets up each  morning, goes around in the neighborhood, feels no need to knock, nor for an invitation, gets tidbits of gossip from each household and then goes on to have a field day. 

Once I learned to play this game right, once I started to see beyond myself, once I let go of my ego and swallowed my pride, once I checked in my shrewdness, once I learned to manage my sensitivities, I for one discovered on this platform many intellectual minds, many fragile hearts, many pure souls and plenty of vulnerability and humanity to go around!

At the end of each day, one's diligence and earnest effort to stay connected with one's world is what it's all about!

Much love,

Shehla