Ik Nuqte Vich Gal Mukdi Eh
Pharh Nukta Chourh Hisabaan Nu
Pharh Nukta Chourh Hisabaan NuI
Ik Nuqte Vich Gal Mukdi Eh
Although our township did provide a bus service for my children to get to school, I always preferred driving them in the morning. On the way back they would take the bus home. This was definitely a motherly gesture on my part as I felt my kids could get some extra sleep in the morning since the bus route was quite early. Secondly, and more importantly, I could have them alone with me, and have their undivided attention so I could lecture them to death since I knew they were smart enough not to jump out of the moving car. That summer my father was visiting us. He used to come along with me every morning as he loved students, and loved seeing their faces full of life, giving him hope for future.
One Monday morning, I dropped Khadija, Sidrah, and then Hashim off and was eager to get home and have my most favorite thing, a fresh cup of Chai. There was a road block on my way back due to some construction and I had to take a detour. It took me about five extra minutes to get home. The second day was the same thing, which annoyed me a little. By the end of the week, I noticed that this detour of about a half a mile was such a drag, while my daily drive of about 10 miles was a breeze. I was very puzzled at my annoyance and I hesitantly asked my father why I was fine driving 10 miles every morning through rush hour, rushing to get my kids to school on time, while this extra half a mile was hard for me to take. He looked at me through his thick glasses, while I'm sure wondering whether his daughter was borderline dumbfounded or touching the heights of 'Sufiism', (to this day I believe he was wrong on both counts). He said to me, "Beti, for you those 10 miles are a 'beaten track'.
My father was the most well read man I knew and an absolute source of knowledge about anything and everything. He was referred by his friends and colleauges as 'a walking library'. I had a golden opportunity to ask him what a beaten track was but I didn't. For some reason I like to understand things on my own, through my own experiences. Since I have a very laid back attitude about seeking 'knowledge', I could easily wait until that understanding came to me. I could wait a long time, even a lifetime, to understand a 'nukta', and when I get to that 'nukta' through my own experience (God help that nukta), it gets engraved in my mind and I am more than ready and fully charged to apply it in any situation I need to. I can't stand 'Google' since it gives me more information than I need or can handle. And the 'copy, cut and paste' is a damn right killer of originality.
Over the next few years, I had a few (although not many) sleepless nights over trying to figure out the freakin' beaten track'. Now I can tell you what I came up with. It could be that our everyday life routine is a beaten track for us, anything out of the ordinary if we have to do that becomes such a drag. I think that in our routine lives some of our very dear relationships become beaten tracks to us. We only do so much for those people and if we have to go up a notch for them we feel quite burdened. I feel sad to say that I believe that in our hearts and minds, we calculate everyones' worth to us, the way I calculated the 10 miles of my kid's school route). We set up a berometer to measure the minimum/maximum we need to invest in that particular relationship. As it was hard for me to go that extra half a mile, it must be quite hard for me to go an extra mile in a giving relationship.
After much thought, I realized that I could be the 'beaten track' to so many people in my life. This thought scared the daylights out of me, but lot of my confusions hit 'clarity'. No wonder my kids make faces when I ask for a second cup of tea, as they can hardly manage the first one, meaning I was 'issued' only one cup at a time according to their beaten track quota for me. No wonder my husband is about to kill me when I over spend. I am sure each extra dollar is 'painful' for him as he was hardly tolerating me as it was.
From then on, I decided to go off track. I started taking the longer and different route home (although my gas bills were hitting the roof). Along with me, my automobile has discovered different routes to malls which was set on auto before. I started cherishing my relationships and started investing in them big time. Nothing was above and beyond me to do for anyone who touched my life.
Ik Nuqte Vich Gal Mukdi Eh"
Hi Everyone,
One Monday morning, I dropped Khadija, Sidrah, and then Hashim off and was eager to get home and have my most favorite thing, a fresh cup of Chai. There was a road block on my way back due to some construction and I had to take a detour. It took me about five extra minutes to get home. The second day was the same thing, which annoyed me a little. By the end of the week, I noticed that this detour of about a half a mile was such a drag, while my daily drive of about 10 miles was a breeze. I was very puzzled at my annoyance and I hesitantly asked my father why I was fine driving 10 miles every morning through rush hour, rushing to get my kids to school on time, while this extra half a mile was hard for me to take. He looked at me through his thick glasses, while I'm sure wondering whether his daughter was borderline dumbfounded or touching the heights of 'Sufiism', (to this day I believe he was wrong on both counts). He said to me, "Beti, for you those 10 miles are a 'beaten track'.
My father was the most well read man I knew and an absolute source of knowledge about anything and everything. He was referred by his friends and colleauges as 'a walking library'. I had a golden opportunity to ask him what a beaten track was but I didn't. For some reason I like to understand things on my own, through my own experiences. Since I have a very laid back attitude about seeking 'knowledge', I could easily wait until that understanding came to me. I could wait a long time, even a lifetime, to understand a 'nukta', and when I get to that 'nukta' through my own experience (God help that nukta), it gets engraved in my mind and I am more than ready and fully charged to apply it in any situation I need to. I can't stand 'Google' since it gives me more information than I need or can handle. And the 'copy, cut and paste' is a damn right killer of originality.
Over the next few years, I had a few (although not many) sleepless nights over trying to figure out the freakin' beaten track'. Now I can tell you what I came up with. It could be that our everyday life routine is a beaten track for us, anything out of the ordinary if we have to do that becomes such a drag. I think that in our routine lives some of our very dear relationships become beaten tracks to us. We only do so much for those people and if we have to go up a notch for them we feel quite burdened. I feel sad to say that I believe that in our hearts and minds, we calculate everyones' worth to us, the way I calculated the 10 miles of my kid's school route). We set up a berometer to measure the minimum/maximum we need to invest in that particular relationship. As it was hard for me to go that extra half a mile, it must be quite hard for me to go an extra mile in a giving relationship.
After much thought, I realized that I could be the 'beaten track' to so many people in my life. This thought scared the daylights out of me, but lot of my confusions hit 'clarity'. No wonder my kids make faces when I ask for a second cup of tea, as they can hardly manage the first one, meaning I was 'issued' only one cup at a time according to their beaten track quota for me. No wonder my husband is about to kill me when I over spend. I am sure each extra dollar is 'painful' for him as he was hardly tolerating me as it was.
From then on, I decided to go off track. I started taking the longer and different route home (although my gas bills were hitting the roof). Along with me, my automobile has discovered different routes to malls which was set on auto before. I started cherishing my relationships and started investing in them big time. Nothing was above and beyond me to do for anyone who touched my life.
Every different route that I take has a different landscape to enjoy. Different traffic jams to curse at or new strip malls to discover. I got rid of my beaten track mentality by developing different approaches to solve a problem or resolve an issue and discovered that there could be so many ways to solve a problem but there is only one resolution. When you go an extra mile, you not only discover different approaches to your destination, but in a human relationship, you sometimes get to touch someone's heart or are allowed to peek into someone's soul. I could go miles and miles just for that 'treat'.
I fell into life's rut easily, and fell out of it with even greater ease. Now when I see a 'detour' sign, I smile for my father and then I am more than eager to take it because I know somehow, going through different 'unfamiliar paths', it will take me to my destination, my home.
Much Love,
Shehla
5 comments:
Wow....you write so beautifully! It was a thought provoking piece which I thoroughly enjoyed reading and realized that so much of what you said, applies to my own life.
Great job and thank you for sharing your hidden talent :) You are not only beautiful on the outside but equally so on the inside!
As usual, very nicely written. Have been waiting for a while, may be you were busy. I always look forward to read the way you express your thoughts, wonderful. Each paragraph has it's own depth.
Keep it up. Best Wishes.
You are absolutely right appa,every relationship in life is ,to some extent measured and calculated and only parents are always ready to go the extra mile for their children.I think I am getting off track but coming back to your point, we all are creatures of routine, especially those of us who are living abroad, even a small thing upsets us a lot
Extremely well written and touching and as I always say---Straight From the heart ! You have touched a very sensitive topic--we have indeed an infinite capacity to take certain things and relationships for granted--and specially those who need the most gratitude--In this artificial and plastic life who has the time to go the extra mile but only a few graceful hearts and souls generated by love like yours--stay blessed and beautiful!!
I am totally out of words after reading this blog I don't know how to put my feelings in apt words but one thing is for sure I am touched deep inside with this marvelous piece of writing it inspires me to look for deeper meanings in simple things of life and to look way beyond for finding the answers to simple yet thoughtful queries that at times bother us! Thank you for sharing it with us Shehla Khala ! =)
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