"The Common Denominator"

Hi Everyone,

My two older kids are 18 months apart, so they have been joined at the hip most of their lives and had been partners in crime. They fought a lot but couldn't survive without each other. I treated them as twins and to this day I call them "Aalia Haroon" instead of Aalia and Haroon.

When Haroon got married to Anila I was a little nervous about how Aalia was going to handle another partner in crime. Since Aalia is a BIG sister, I knew she would have a hard time sharing her baby brother with another girl since she was the only girl entitled to bully him. Although Aalia and Anila got along well from the beginning, being the neurotic mother that I am, I could not help but to worry about their relationship.

Last Eid, my wish came true since Eid was falling on Black Friday and all my children came home for Thanksgiving break. After dinner on Thursday night, Aalia and Anila started to execute their pre-meditated plan to hit the Black Friday sale at Woodbury Commons in New York at midnight. They had no problem leaving me with three kids, two frustrated husbands, and two half eaten dead turkeys, all in this order. God knows what time they came home because after wrestling with two Halal turkeys all day I was knocked out.

The next morning, Aalia woke me at 7 a.m. since my babysitting services were required again. I said, "Aalia I don't remember going off duty last night, how come I am back on this (unsolicited) duty again?" I don't think she even remembered that it was Eid that day (as Eid was falling on a very "inconvenient" day). She didn't care where the kids and husband were. Anila, of course like a GOOD BHABI, followed her lead so they both dumped their three kids on me, made me miss the Eid namaz, and ran to Short Hills Mall at 7 in the morning while the other siblings were still sleeping. I was so confused at what was so important that they had to get that their siblings had no interest in.

Well, it was the Baby Gap connection........

Then Aalia's friend Mona discovered the freakin' Gap Card, which gives extra savings and according to her lets the cardholders in on secret sales that ordinary (normal) people have no clue about. My girls jumped on this opportunity wagon and haven't gotten off since. You go girls. God only knows, and I for one don't even want to know what they do in their own home towns, but I am a witness to how they exhaust all the Gap stores every time they are in New Jersey. Both these girls become possessed as Aalia starts to hyperventilate and Anila starts talking really fast when they enter any Gap vicinity with a word "sale" written on the window. They are on the top of the sale situation and I have a feeling they know about it even before Mr. Gap decides to have one. They call each other, if for nothing else, about upcoming sales and secretly try to out do each other by getting the loot cheaper.

Anila must have already bought enough baby clothes for her five upcoming babies, and Aalia has ample clothes to last for her kids and her neighbor's kids for at least next four years. Haroon and Sohail (poor husbands) are not amused when they get the Gap bill every month, but these girls, my girls, have a speech ready to justify their shopping spree. These two very smart boys are sucked into believing that spending 100% is 10 times better than not spending at all, especially when you are getting 10% off.

Now this sisterhood has graduated to jewelry as well. When the famous jewelry store Bailey Banks & Biddle was going out of business, my girls were besides themselves. They both wanted to buy a diamond bracelet, so they got pretty exhausted while exhausting all their chain stores in New jersey, Virginia and Washington DC. Anila's Iphone came in quite handy as they would exchange pictures of the same kind of bracelets while standing in stores in different states. My other daughters described the scene as both not being able to breathe, while talking a mile a minute. It is surreal that they both ended up with the same bracelets, and now wear it together. This sisterhood of theres is getting on everyone's nerves as Shahnoor and Ariana (their baby daughters) have the same Yurman bracelets and the same diamond ear studs.

It is like a CULT.

I equally feel bad for my son and son-in-law, who are often caught at home babysitting while their wives are standing in a Gap, consulting, as well as cheering each other on to buy more.

Be careful what you wish for.

Much love,

Shehla