"20/20"

"Roney waalon sey kaho unka bhi rona ro lein
Jin ko majboori-e halaat ney roney naa dia
Aap kehte thay key roney sey naa badlengey naseeb
umr bhar aap ki is baat ney roney nah diya
Warna kya baat thi kis baat ney roney nah diya"

Hi everyone,

I was bored out of my mind as I had ample time and didn't know how to kill it. After climbing my four walls I turned on the Desi TV since I never knew of a better way to kill my boredom, although it subsequently kills my brain cells as well!

 

I stumbled upon a drama serial right in the middle of it's 8th episode. It was an engaging story line and was dripping with intrigue. I couldn't flip the channel and watched that episode with great relish. It was engrossing enough for me to want to go back and watch the serial from the beginning, something I do quite often. For some odd reason, this time around I opted to tackle that storyline differently. I picked up that drama serial online from it's 9th episode and watched it to the last one. I then went back and started to watch it from the beginning. This was the luxury I never indulged my self into! Since I knew the end I never thought I would enjoy the beginning at all--surprisingly I did! All my life I savored the movies that had me guessing till the very end. Needless to say this was atypical and surreal!

The beginning of the drama serial was much more compelling now since I became aware of the ending. I wondered why I always was more fascinated by the ending of a play although the beginning of the play calls for and definitely justifies more inquisitiveness! Although what we don't know about the future is considered a blessing, knowing the future and then go back and reflect on the past would have been on another level of awareness and indubitably the highest level of consciousness and would have had required a third eye!

Since I knew the ending I grew exceedingly critical of so many happenings while I was watching the whole time. I felt, in the storyline some obscurities needed to hit clarity, some denials needed to be faced, some facets needed to be accentuated and some inequities needed to be challenged! If it was up to me I would have had written the script myself and would have made so many changes in the storyline just so it would get the ending of my choice! My desperation to control was quite unsettling and left me frazzled! 

Knowing that I couldn't change the ending was highlighting my helplessness and that helplessness I would have had  felt all through my life if I knew the ending, so to speak mine! Although, Allah the merciful has shown me immense mercy throughout my life, the biggest mercy I consider is, Him keeping my fate and my destiny to Himself!

Everyone has a story to tell and quite often we catch people in our lives, when they are right in the middle of theirs. Quite often with a very engaging story line and at time with some intrigue as well. Overtime I have trained myself to be compassionate towards anyone I cross paths with since I have no idea how many  obscurities, how many denials and how many inequities they deal with on day to day basis. I don't know when my human eye became humane but it sure wasn't soon enough!

It's rudimentary for us mortals to second guess our each and every decision as each and every step we take has repercussions and each and every step we take conventionally leads to crossroads as well as alludes to our inability to prognosticate the fallouts. Hindsight is not only 20/20, it can be cruel and judgmental as well!

Much love,

Shehla