(Overlooking the Ka'aba during my pilgrimage)
"Yeh zamin jab na thi
Yeh jahaan jab na thaa
Chand suraj na they Aasmaan jab na thaa
Raaz-e-haq bhii kisi par Ayaan jab na thaa
Jab na thaa kuch yahaan
Thaa magar tuu hi tu
Allah hu Allah hu Allah hu
Allah hu Allah hu Allah hu"
The pilgrimage doesn't start the day you embark on your journey to Mecca, it starts the day you are old enough to know you are a Muslim, the day you see an image of Ka'aba on a piece of paper and can never shake it off, the day you realize and admit the power of supplication and moreso your need for it!
I took off on Saudi Airlines along with my son and daughter-in-law, leaving my whole world filled with my worldly belongings and overwhelming responsibilities behind to render my submission to my Creator, to thank Him for what he has given me, to ask for His forgiveness and for much much more.
Although your air carrier allows you plenty of luggage to take, it doesn't seem enough for the kind of baggage you are bringing along. You are carrying your sins, your repentances, your griefs, your losses, your shames, your scars, your shortcomings, your indulgences, your shikwas, and above all your modesty and humility and all that is to be carried on your shoulders. You get there so tired with swollen feet, not from the 15 hour flight that you took, but from the back breaking load you have been carrying all through your life.
Standing in Haram facing the Ka'aba you fall apart, feel weak in your knees, try your best to stand upright while your whole flawed life flashes in front of your eyes. You don't have the heart or even courage to face his 'Jalal' along with millions of Muslims from all over the world and it is the most humbling moment to experience.
My 'Jholi' was so full with his blessings yet so empty since I always seem to want much more than He gives. I ask only Him as He tells me to ask only Him and I marvel at how His benevolence surpasses all my needs and all my wants and as He gives me much more than I ask for.
During my journey I needed to connect with the Almighty Allah like I never did or could before and the real connection I felt was during my sleepless nights. I would lay in my bed awake almost all night, crying with overwhelming repentances, praying for forgiveness, contemplating my future, asking for His guidance, begging for way too many things for my children, and pleading my case like no other can.
To see your inward act of intentions and your outward act of a journey come together beautifully, to see the processions of millions of relentless
Although I come back to my world filled with my worldly belongings and responsibilities, the countless tears I shed on the day of Arafat still have my eyes wet!
Yeh jahaan jab na thaa
Chand suraj na they Aasmaan jab na thaa
Raaz-e-haq bhii kisi par Ayaan jab na thaa
Jab na thaa kuch yahaan
Thaa magar tuu hi tu
Allah hu Allah hu Allah hu
Allah hu Allah hu Allah hu"
The pilgrimage doesn't start the day you embark on your journey to Mecca, it starts the day you are old enough to know you are a Muslim, the day you see an image of Ka'aba on a piece of paper and can never shake it off, the day you realize and admit the power of supplication and moreso your need for it!
I took off on Saudi Airlines along with my son and daughter-in-law, leaving my whole world filled with my worldly belongings and overwhelming responsibilities behind to render my submission to my Creator, to thank Him for what he has given me, to ask for His forgiveness and for much much more.
Although your air carrier allows you plenty of luggage to take, it doesn't seem enough for the kind of baggage you are bringing along. You are carrying your sins, your repentances, your griefs, your losses, your shames, your scars, your shortcomings, your indulgences, your shikwas, and above all your modesty and humility and all that is to be carried on your shoulders. You get there so tired with swollen feet, not from the 15 hour flight that you took, but from the back breaking load you have been carrying all through your life.
Standing in Haram facing the Ka'aba you fall apart, feel weak in your knees, try your best to stand upright while your whole flawed life flashes in front of your eyes. You don't have the heart or even courage to face his 'Jalal' along with millions of Muslims from all over the world and it is the most humbling moment to experience.
My 'Jholi' was so full with his blessings yet so empty since I always seem to want much more than He gives. I ask only Him as He tells me to ask only Him and I marvel at how His benevolence surpasses all my needs and all my wants and as He gives me much more than I ask for.
During my journey I needed to connect with the Almighty Allah like I never did or could before and the real connection I felt was during my sleepless nights. I would lay in my bed awake almost all night, crying with overwhelming repentances, praying for forgiveness, contemplating my future, asking for His guidance, begging for way too many things for my children, and pleading my case like no other can.
To see your inward act of intentions and your outward act of a journey come together beautifully, to see the processions of millions of relentless
Hajis, to see the solidarity of Muslims from each and every corner of the world is mind blowing and leaves you pretty shaken up!
Although I come back to my world filled with my worldly belongings and responsibilities, the countless tears I shed on the day of Arafat still have my eyes wet!
Much Love,
Shehla
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